Ep : 217 Fired Up by a Bully, Hired by Sotheby’s: Trust & Authentic Leadership with Maria Kelly
Show Notes
Are you curious about how a yoga practice can transform your life?
How can the elements of nature enhance your yoga practice?
What does it really mean to find balance in a world that glorifies hustle?
This final episode of Season 2 of the Fearlessly Curious Podcast is a masterclass in resilience, reinvention, and real-talk leadership.
Maria Kelly went from walking out of a toxic job with no backup plan, to landing a career-defining role in less than 24 hours, to managing global teams without a single management training for 6 years!
It came with anxiety, doubt, and a deep loneliness many new leaders never talk about.
This is what she did to rewrite the rules and simplify life :
→ She left before she was ready
→ Asked better questions instead of faking confidence
→ Started her business to be the mentor she never had
→ Stopped trying to force a niche and let her ideal clients find her
→ And most recently? She gave herself full permission to pivot again
So what does actually being Maria feel like?
→ It feels like courage.
→ Choosing growth over perfection, every time.
→ Not waiting for clarity before making a move.
→ Giving your inner critic a name (shoutout to “Michaela” 👀) and telling her to shut up.
Connect with Maria :
Maria Kelly is a business strategist who helps entrepreneurs and small business owners get unstuck and scale with clarity.
With over 22 years of leading teams at Sotheby’s, she now works with founders who’ve hit a wall in strategy, leadership, or operations, offering clear, practical support through coaching, team training, and as a Fractional Chief Strategy Officer.
She’s based in Barcelona, runs the Metropolitan Business Association for English-speaking professionals, and when she’s not working, she’s probably at Toastmasters or scouting out the best food in town.
Website: https://askmariakelly.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/askmariakelly/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/askmariakelly/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@askmariakelly
Highlights from this episode:
05:00 What leadership without training really felt like
13:00 Pivoting from corporate to entrepreneurship
14:30 Building a thriving founder community in Barcelona
16:45 The messy middle of pivoting
21:00 Attachment vs alignment: learning when to walk away
38:30 How a teacher’s cruelty became her internalised self-doubt
39:00 Meet Mikaela: Maria’s inner critic (and how she handles it)
44:00 Golden nugget: Stop perfecting. Just start. You can always tweak later.
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About Me:
I help you lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.
Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Melissa: Welcome to another edition of the Fearlessly Curious podcast. Just before I start, I just need to set this up and be honest that this is our take too. Because today I have none other than my lovely friend that we met, I believe on LinkedIn Maria Kelly.
[00:00:16] And Maria, we already did this once before, right? We had a session. We did. I wasn't time with you and then we realized, or I realized I didn't hit record, so it only gets better. Maria, thank you for joining us on the podcast today.
[00:00:30] Maria Kelly: It was meant to be, it must be. We had such a great conversation. I think like we had to do it again.
[00:00:34] Melissa: So I get to be, I get to be more curious with you.
[00:00:37] Maria Kelly: Oh my God. You're going to find out so much more.
[00:00:40] Melissa: So I always proclaim that I'm, I always mess it up when I have to describe what it is that my amazing guests. Do in their lives, whether it's personal, whether it's professional, what it is that they are driven what purpose driven leaders that I have on here.
[00:00:55] So I'm going to start with very small question, Maria. What is your purpose?
[00:00:59] Maria Kelly: Oh [00:01:00] gosh. Purpose. Oh that's a wow. You're starting full on. Yeah. Full on. I think I'm still struggling to figure out what my purpose is, to be honest. Um, there's a lot of people that have this in their, banners and things like that, that seem very clear about it.
[00:01:15] And I feel, I'm not sure what my purpose is as a person as a professional, I would say my purpose is to help others grow. That's what I, that's what I feel I'm good at and I like doing. And yeah as an individual, I don't know what my purpose is here on the earth, honestly.
[00:01:32] Melissa: To help people grow.
[00:01:33] I think you've already said it. Yeah.
[00:01:35] Maria Kelly: Maybe that's it. Yeah, that's all.
[00:01:36] Melissa: So in a professional, at a professional level, help people grow. Could you be a little bit more specific on that? So if I were to find, go and look for you on LinkedIn and I was asking you to expand on how you describe your mission or your service.
[00:01:54] I guess I'll go deeper. What is your why? Why is it that you feel called to help people [00:02:00] grow in the professional space?
[00:02:01] Maria Kelly: So I have a long corporate career behind me before I started my own business. I worked 22 years for Sotheby's, the auction house. And I started, really at the bottom.
[00:02:11] I walked in the door, knew nothing about art or auction, and I worked my way up. And It wasn't always easy. I didn't always get the support I needed. And there were moments where it was really difficult and I felt very lonely and very stressed. And at those moments I could have had somebody help me and guide me.
[00:02:33] It wasn't, it didn't need to be much, but just somebody I could turn to, to ask those questions. And I didn't get that. And I know that I'm not alone because I've talked to a lot of people about this. And now I have a lot of clients like that. It just seems very unfair to the person who's, Growing within a company to not get the support they need to be good at their job.
[00:02:52] And in this case, I've been promoted in a, leadership role, my first leadership role.
[00:02:56] And I made mistakes, I made people mistakes, which are the worst [00:03:00] because, I didn't know better. I had no idea. I hadn't been given any management training. And, It's not fair on the person that's being promoted, but it's also very unfair on the person that, on the people that this person is managing or, leading.
[00:03:13] And it, because it has an impact on their lives, on their professional life, maybe even on their personal life. And I remember vividly those moments and had the struggle I had. And I feel like I don't want anybody else to go through that kind of thing. And there's no reason why anybody should, but the problem is lots of companies don't give.
[00:03:32] The support needed, actually, it's 70 percent of leaders haven't gotten the training they need before they actually access their roles. So when I decided to go off and do my business, I was thinking what could I do? I'd been a leader for a few years, a global international leader.
[00:03:49] I've been leading people. And I was like I know how to do that. Maybe I could, go and help other people do it. Teach them how to not make the mistakes I made and help them have the career they love, [00:04:00] enjoy it. And because I think you owe it to yourself to have a job you enjoy.
[00:04:03] And there's so many people that don't. Which is really sad when I read that on LinkedIn sometimes. So for me, it was about helping those people originally.
[00:04:13] Melissa: So I guess you could actually find yourself in a job that you do actually love or in a career that you do love. But not having the support and the suffering that comes and not having the support is going to make you think you're in the wrong place when that may not necessarily be the case.
[00:04:30] I'd just like to go a bit deeper with this if you're open to it, which is you talked about the struggle. What did struggle look like for you in, in, when you were in that thrown into this leadership role and later I'm going to ask how you got this position because I think that's this one bit of the conversation.
[00:04:45] Maria Kelly: So I loved my job. I really loved it. I loved my company. I loved the people I worked with. What happened was that I found myself overnight promoted into a role with no training managerial training or leadership [00:05:00] training, but it was just, I happened to be the person who could do the job on the ground, and I knew the, I knew my job really well.
[00:05:07] The techno technical side of it, the leadership the leadership skills, not so much. I lacked those and. So you
[00:05:14] Melissa: had the knowledge for the role?
[00:05:16] Maria Kelly: Yeah, absolutely. I could do the job without a problem. It was just, I didn't have the skills to manage people. And I think the technical side, there was not a problem.
[00:05:24] And I knew that I didn't realize what I realized I was lacking stuff, but I didn't know what,
[00:05:30] Melissa: okay.
[00:05:31] Maria Kelly: And my boss at the time was based in London. So this is in Geneva in Switzerland, where I grew up. And. My boss at the time was based in London and I remember calling him regularly saying, Hey so things are going okay, but is there anything I'm not doing in my job?
[00:05:47] I w I was stressed because I felt like things were going well. But it worried me because I felt like there must be something I'm not doing. There must be something I'm missing. There must be, because the person who had the role [00:06:00] before me was constantly stressed, was running around like a headless chicken all the time.
[00:06:05] And so I was like, this is weird because it feels like everything's under control. So I was stressed about the fact that it felt like everything was going well when this guy was always stressed. And. At the same time I realized I was struggling a little bit with the, um, going overnight from being one of the team to being the boss, it's I felt like I'd gone to the dark side and I'd become one of the others, the ones we were talking about and that nobody helped me manage that transition and also the, people's attitude changes towards you, your comments.
[00:06:41] So it was really interesting to see, it's a social experiment in itself, but suddenly, my colleagues and friends some of them thought that they were going to have great advantages seeing as I was the boss, so now you're the boss, you can do this for me and this, and I was like, whoa, wait a second.
[00:06:57] It's wait a second, I'm not sure I can, that's not the [00:07:00] deal. And then there were other people who suddenly were very guarded and were like, completely changed attitude with me because I'd become one of the other guys. So that was really hard also because it made me, I was really lonely. I felt lonely.
[00:07:12] I was isolated. There was nobody at my level in the country. Yeah. I was the, I was managing the business. So I had nobody I could confide to rant or have, just have brainstorm with about what's going on. And I wasn't going to hire my boss in London to say, Oh, I didn't, I was a woman, I was a young woman promoted in an important position.
[00:07:31] I had no college degree or anything. And I felt like I can't go whining and pretending things. I need to show that everything's doing well because, it's really hard for women to to get that kind of position and
[00:07:43] Melissa: keep it.
[00:07:43] Maria Kelly: So that was the sort of stress I was going through and I just felt like I was constantly walking around with plates in my hands and at one moment one was going to slip and everything would just come crashing around me and that went on for, I can say, two years.
[00:07:59] I felt that way for a [00:08:00] few years. And I thought about, yeah, and I thought about leaving. I did, and I loved my job. But I did think about leaving because I felt I just started doubting myself. Am I doing this right? Is this going to be like this all the time? Maybe not two years.
[00:08:13] Maybe I'm going to exaggerate. Maybe it was a year and a half, a year and a half before I felt really, okay, actually everything's fine. You do have everything under control, but my first managerial training came six years later, just so you know.
[00:08:27] Melissa: Wow. And why? Why? How and why did that
[00:08:31] Maria Kelly: happen? I had a new boss and I said to him, I said, no, I never got training and he was like, oh, we have regular training here in London.
[00:08:37] You should just come out for the next management training. And when I got it, I was like, why didn't nobody tell me this before? There were things that that would have helped me so much in, managing people's situations, conflict things like that. And nobody, I realized in retrospect, I realized everything, I'd done wrong.
[00:08:56] And I was like, it's anyway.
[00:08:58] Melissa: So now you help [00:09:00] professionals in the space grow in their careers or just want to get clarity on, okay. Oh,
[00:09:06] Maria Kelly: so yeah. So do they,
[00:09:08] Melissa: do they come to you when they're struggling at work or struggling to, to grow within their work? Or do you have companies coming to you wanting to provide, asking you to provide training for their teams?
[00:09:20] So I did,
[00:09:21] Maria Kelly: I did different things. I do executive coaching. So for people who are. In their role and either they want to, need some help to grow into the next role or they want to usually it's all about transition. They want to transition maybe into a new job in another company or find a new job.
[00:09:39] And then I do team training. So that would be helping. Principally with leadership teams. So mainly it's leadership teams, but I'm going to be doing also, I've done a leadership team recently, and now they've asked me to do the rest of the company. So usually it's to align the leaders, to help them work together.
[00:09:56] Again, it's about helping people communicate better together so [00:10:00] that they can grow together as a team because the company is scaling. So again, it's in, it's transitions. It's. So mainly in the transition periods, whether it's because the company's scaling or because the person wants to get to their next phase.
[00:10:12] So it's all about growth.
[00:10:14] Melissa: Okay. And I'm going to put this here cause I think it's going to make it more fun. I know too that, even as coaches ourselves we go throughout, we are having to navigate our own transitions whilst holding our clients. And I know that you're going through a transition right now.
[00:10:30] Because with the training and the services, I'll say, and the coaching and mentoring and consulting that you provide within for professionals and professionals is such a, it's such a big category, right? Because we have corporate, we have used the word corporate, we use the word professionals and leaders.
[00:10:48] But I know that you've very recently. I've fairly recently been feeling more of a call to redefine leadership and the kind of service you want to provide. And so you [00:11:00] yourself are going through a transition and exploring pivoting. And when you talk about transition in any stage of life and in any category of life, whether it's professional or personal, essentially we're pivoting.
[00:11:11] So what does that look like for you right now?
[00:11:14] Maria Kelly: Oh, wow. As I said, I started really working with corporate because that's where I had my network. That's what I knew I had the experience. And interestingly enough, now it's been four years I've had my business. Interestingly enough, it feels like your clients find you
[00:11:32] You, there's a lot of talk about identifying your ideal client when you start your business and you do a lot of work around that. But then. Funnily enough, it's your clients who find you. And the last year in 2024, I've had a lot of small businesses come to me and. So small businesses who wanted to scale, who needed help growing their business and entrepreneurs who are starting their business and needed help to get going.[00:12:00]
[00:12:00] Okay. And so I started working with these people and I really enjoyed it and I discovered that I can add really a lot of value at my corporate experience and simply my experience as a, as a leader and,
[00:12:12] and it's, yeah, it's about leadership again, but it's. Sometimes more about self leadership in these cases. I'm always about self leadership, but I think for an entrepreneur, having stuff, having done gone through it and you too, Melissa, it's you need to be really good at leading yourself when you're starting in business, because it takes discipline.
[00:12:30] It takes consistence. It's, yeah. And it can be pretty overwhelming when you're starting to know what your priorities are to be confident to go out and put something out there and put yourself out there. And so I've I've really enjoyed working with these people. And so while we talked about it recently, I did a human design session with you, which.
[00:12:50] Really helped me get a bit of clarity around it. I was at the end of last year thinking, okay, I feel like I find found my ideal clients. These are the people I [00:13:00] work with. But then I've been talking about, leadership to corporates and I'm thinking, Oh, my marketing is around this. What am I, what do I do?
[00:13:08] Do I change it? Do I change my LinkedIn profile? How many times have I, I don't know if anybody's been for some time on LinkedIn, I'm sure you've redone your profile many times, but it's just, yeah. And I was thinking, okay, do I do this? Do I not do this? It feels right.
[00:13:25] Melissa: Yeah,
[00:13:25] Maria Kelly: it feels like the right thing to do, but then my brain is getting in the middle and I'm thinking, okay, yeah, but at the same time you spent so much time talking about the other stuff and you've been reaching out to all these people.
[00:13:35] So yeah, I found myself at the beginning of this year with a big
[00:13:39] Melissa: question
[00:13:40] Maria Kelly: mark. Yeah. It's Should I pivot? Should I not? And then, there's also one thing I think people don't regret what they've done, they often, they mostly regret what they haven't done. Yeah. And so I thought especially after talking with you, it's wow, what do I have to lose?
[00:13:54] If, The worst comes to the worst. I can always go back and go back to the other one. [00:14:00] So I've decided that I am going to pivot and I'm going to redo everything. This
[00:14:05] Melissa: is exciting.
[00:14:07] Maria Kelly: Yeah. And it makes sense also because I. I started a business association last year with a bunch of founders and here in Barcelona, we've, we wanted to help the English speaking community of entrepreneurs and business owners.
[00:14:20] And so I've been spending a lot of time with these people. And I feel like it just seems to make sense that I would be working with them because I am in a way. We meet every two weeks and we do a lot of stuff together. We help each other grow. So it feels like the stars are aligned and that I need to bite the bullet and just go for it.
[00:14:39] Melissa: This is super exciting. And from from the outside looking in, what you've shared already you pivoted from corporate and leadership role in corporate and became an entrepreneur yourself. To help people, to help the community, the environment that you had just left and have a wealth of experience [00:15:00] in.
[00:15:00] So in a way it makes sense that after a few years in your new, in your pivot that if you're naturally attracting, like you said, your people are finding you,
[00:15:10] That you're following the flow of life. And it's extraordinary because I remember, gosh, how long have you had this business association now?
[00:15:17] Is it a year old? No, not even. Not even, right?
[00:15:20] Maria Kelly: In May. It started in May, so it's less than a year. We went, we grew really quickly and we had 50 members within six months.
[00:15:28] Melissa: And you didn't expect this, did you? You thought you were just going to have a coffee chat and maybe get a few people together. And this really Maria speaks to the beauty of trusting when you are aligned with the things that you love and the calling within your heart, like you, you just wanted to have to do this, bring some people together that you mentioned earlier, the stars are aligned.
[00:15:48] Sometimes it's just about looking. So a lot of the time we're searching for the answers. But when we search too hard, we actually miss all the signs that are really in front of us. So [00:16:00] congratulations on the pivot. It sounds to me that you are doing exactly what you're meant to be doing. This is actually your purpose.
[00:16:07] And even then purpose for right now, I think often professionals get, we get, Stuck, not just professionals, any, anyone out there providing a service, right? We get stuck and become overloyal in a way to what we're doing. And the minute it feels uncomfortable, and maybe it's our conditioning. Marie, you tell me you what your thoughts on this, when things get uncomfortable, we're like, I need to push through this because we're also told don't give up, don't give up, got to push through it.
[00:16:32] But if it's not working anymore. Sometimes it's just not working anymore. How do you tell the difference on when to not give up on something, but just stop something and start something new?
[00:16:43] Maria Kelly: I think there's several things. I think what you said about the fact that we've been, we've been told that you shouldn't quit things, you need to go through it.
[00:16:50] There's also, the time and money investment you've put into it. Maybe for your business, you started your business, you've invested a lot. So what's been holding me back, it's Oh, I'm going to have to redo all my [00:17:00] marketing. No it's you're attached, you're emotionally attached to what you've created.
[00:17:03] And
[00:17:04] it's. It's about getting clarity really on what you want. Sometimes, if I, not sometimes, I feel like almost always, the only way you do that is by speaking to somebody else. It's getting, another party involved. It's really hard to do it yourself and I've seen that with, Last week, I had three conversations with three separate people, completely different place in their lives.
[00:17:27] One was looking for a job, the other one just started business, and the other one was in was in a, in an organization. And the three of them were in a place where they're undecisive on what they wanted to do. But for the three of them, what was holding them back was something that wasn't, that didn't exist.
[00:17:43] It was something in their brain. So one of them, it was, she had a great job offer and she was hesitating to take it because she was thinking of starting her own business. But at the same time, what she was really having problems with is that she had bills to [00:18:00] pay. So I said, so we had a conversation.
[00:18:01] I said so basically you're not sure you're going to take this job. I said, how many clients do you have? And anyway, she said, none. I said, so you haven't started a business. She said, no. I said, but you do have bills. She said, yes. And I said, and you do have a job offer. I said, yeah. I said, so right now, what is the most important thing?
[00:18:18] And she was like, pay my bills. I said, okay, so what's stopping you taking the job? And it was. It was just, she was holding herself back for a potential thing that she might do that she hadn't even started. And it was the same with these two other people, it was again, they were getting inside their head.
[00:18:34] about hesitating to go into something because of something that they might want to do or that might happen. And I think we tend to do that a lot. And as entrepreneurs, in particular, when you're starting, you can get very quickly overwhelmed by all these things that, people throw a lot of information at you of what you should and shouldn't do.
[00:18:52] And, that you should get up early in the morning, That you should take full baths, that you should have a mailing list, that you, there's all this information [00:19:00] being thrown at you and you could spend hours and hours listening to all this and do nothing and and it's, it can be paralyzing and very hard to find your priorities.
[00:19:09] I'm not sure why I'm talking about, how did I get where I am? Yeah,
[00:19:12] Melissa: No. Why did I get there? You're describing the process. You're describing the process of gaining clarity in those moments when you're like, I want to do this, but I've got something else. Like, how do we ground in the present moment essentially?
[00:19:24] Cause our mind just takes us off. Cause I asked about the pivoting and yeah. And life does get confusing. And that's, that is probably the biggest struggle of being an entrepreneur. And I guess because you've made that pivot yourself maybe that's why, not maybe, It's clear. That's one of the reasons why you're attracting clients who are not necessarily in the corporate space, but maybe pivoting out of the corporate space, as you mentioned, to become entrepreneurs.
[00:19:49] So whether they're starting up or they're scaling because you've been through it yourself, you have had to walk that path of gaining clarity. And [00:20:00] there's no better person. to coach you, support you, guide you than someone who's actually walked the process. And clearly still is walking the process.
[00:20:08] Maria Kelly: Yeah, absolutely. I'm still in it. When people ask me, I'm like, no, I don't have it all figured out. I'm still figuring it out. It's, and I think it's, that's the journey. I don't think that I,
[00:20:17] I don't
[00:20:18] know if there's ever a moment where you get to a point where you're like, I figured it all out.
[00:20:22] It's all good because I. It's been over the four years, it's changed a little bit every time and you need to be flexible and adapt and have that resilience somewhere that that it's going to be okay. Believe in the journey, but also, yeah, not be afraid to say, okay, I'm going to have to walk away from this because this is not working.
[00:20:41] Attached to stuff and you can go right into a wall, and lots of, I think lots of businesses fail because of that, because the person is either too attached to their idea or too attached to an offer. Their ego sometimes. Or their ego gets in the way too. Yeah. I had a conversation recently with one of my clients who was clearly having an ego problem.
[00:20:59] [00:21:00] And as we were talking, I didn't even have to say it. She said, Oh, is this my ego? And I was like,
[00:21:05] Yeah, maybe.
[00:21:07] And yeah, but that's why I think as an entrepreneur, definitely are even I think at any role as a leader, whether it's your leading yourself, your business, a company it can be very isolating because often you're the only one in that, at that role and you have nobody you can share these things with.
[00:21:24] And so it's really important to surround yourself with people who can, who you can speak to, whether it's a friend, a colleague, someone who's doing, going through the same thing as you, or a mentor or a coach, because often you know the answers. But you're just getting, yeah, you're getting lost in your own thoughts.
[00:21:41] Lost
[00:21:42] Melissa: In all the possibilities or the potential you mentioned earlier. Sometimes we get distracted by the potential, but we're actually missing what we've got right now.
[00:21:51] Maria Kelly: Yeah, exactly.
[00:21:52] Melissa: So you, you talked about conditioning, I mentioned conditioning as well, right? About this idea of not giving up.
[00:21:57] So sometimes we're forcing something that's [00:22:00] not meant to be. The signs are all there saying not this way, but because we've got an attachment, an emotional attachment to an idea, concept, a project, and we're trying to force it through, we don't see the wood for the trees. Having, as you mentioned, having that third party, Not being an island reaching to a friend, a mentor, a coach, or a community.
[00:22:21] And now you have that too can make all the difference. So how did, cause, okay, you mentioned about being flexible. That's probably one of the most important qualities of being an entrepreneur. Being flexible. I know this is one of your gifts because I've had opportunity to spend quite a lot of time chatting with you.
[00:22:41] I want to just go back again to that, the job that you at Sotheby's and how you landed that, because this is really a testimony to why living in flow or being flexible and following the signs,
[00:22:56] Always leads you to the right place. Even when the mind can't [00:23:00] make sense of it. There's always something to get out of every experience.
[00:23:04] So I'll stop talking. How did you get to Sotheby's?
[00:23:07] Maria Kelly: Yeah. And I really believe it. I think things are meant to be yeah, it's a funny story. I left school, I was supposed to go to university and I went backpacking in South America and came back and decided, you know what, I'm done with school. I want to go and live my life, make money.
[00:23:22] I was like, I'm done listening to other people tell me about what life should be like. I want to escape. So I just, my parents were delighted, obviously I decided to go out and find a job and I did a few, a bunch of little jobs and one of them was in a clothes store, like a retail store and I worked there a few months.
[00:23:42] And there was this a new boss that came in after a few months, I started and she was horrible. And, you talk about, having role models. You can also have a role model of what a bad leader is like. And she was the embodiment of it. She was constantly on [00:24:00] our back. She'd like, Quartered out the whole shop in quarters where we could be and we couldn't talk to each other.
[00:24:06] Like we were regiment, she was treating us as if we were kids. It was horrible. And when we'd had a really good team, we were working really well. We were the store that was making the most money. Before she came in, we were super performant and had a great atmosphere. She came in and destroyed that.
[00:24:22] And and one day everybody was like, Complaining about her and we were going to have a team meeting one evening and everybody was like we need to tell her it's not okay. We need to give her feedback. And so we're like, okay, so we all agree we're going to give her feedback and we get to the meeting.
[00:24:38] She does her, presentation, whatever. And she said, is there anything you guys would like to add on? Nobody says anything. So I said, yes, actually, I think I'm speaking in the name of everybody. Wow. And I realize everybody's like this. I said, okay, I'm speaking in my name. And I basically give her feedback, say, the way you're treating us, it's having an impact on our performance.
[00:24:58] And, so I wasn't saying you're [00:25:00] a bitch. I was like being, really, Sorry. No. Don't apologize. Just trying to give feedback and say, this is how we all feel. We're miserable and all. And she, ran into me. She was like, how dare
[00:25:09] you
[00:25:10] speak, tell me how I lead my team.
[00:25:12] Who do you think you are? And if you're not happy, the door is wide open. I was like, okay. And that's one thing she said to us. Several times a day, by the way, every, anytime we try to say anything, she'll be like, if you're not happy, doors wide open, which is great. When you're working. And so the next morning I walked in, I gave her my letter and I said, I'm resigning.
[00:25:30] And she said why the door's wide open? I'm walking out. So I walk home. I bump into my neighbor who's who's in the stairs. And she said this is the same
[00:25:38] Melissa: day, literally you left. Same day, same
[00:25:40] Maria Kelly: day. I walk home. I see my neighbor in the, walking up the stairs and she said, what are you doing home in the middle of the day?
[00:25:46] And I say I tell her the story and she was like, Oh, that's crazy. You know what? I have another friend. She just resigned today too. I was like, okay. She said. You should apply for her job. I was like, what do you mean? I what are you talking about? She said, [00:26:00] yeah, she works for Sotheby's the auction house.
[00:26:02] If you're looking for a job, right? I said, yeah, I guess she said you should apply for her job. I said, I don't know anything about art or auction. And she looked at me, she said if you don't apply, you'll never know if you could have got it. And I was like, Fair point.
[00:26:16] That's a fair point. So I went into my apartment, I typed up on my typewriter, just so you know, tells you how old I am, my CV, tree line CV. And it happened to be two blocks away from where I lived. And I thought I didn't even know what job I was applying for, by the way. So I type up my tree line CV, walk around the corner thinking they're going to take it, throw it in the bin, and that's it.
[00:26:39] And I go in and I say, Hey, I heard there's a job opening. I'd like to drop off my CV. And the girl at the reception says, Oh, okay, wait a second. I'll see if they can meet you straight away. And I go what? I was like, crap. And she comes, the woman comes out and she's the head of the shipping department and she says, yeah, come in.
[00:26:55] We have a, we have an interview, which we totally click. Like straight, sometimes you meet [00:27:00] people and you like jam chemistry. And so we talk for an hour, have a great conversation. I'm thinking this is going really well. And at the end of the conversation, she says, such a shame. I heard someone for the role this morning.
[00:27:12] I was like, why have I just spent an hour here? And she said, but I need someone part time. And I was like, no, I need a full time job. I need to pay my bills. She said wait a second. She calls up somebody and she says, the guy in the admin department needs someone part time too. You can go up and interview with him now.
[00:27:31] And I'm like, okay, go up and do the second interview. And then I walk out of there thinking, okay, I don't know what happened here, but we'll see. They call me next day, say okay you can come in. We'll get you to meet just a HR person to talk about salary and all that stuff. And I think my biggest qualities at the time was that I was cheap because I was super honest.
[00:27:50] Big mistake I learned later on what I needed. I was like, they were like how much do you want to be paid? And I said to pay my bills, I need this. And they were like, Oh yeah, that's fine. You get more than [00:28:00] that. Actually, I didn't. They gave me exactly what I asked for. But yeah, no. And I spoke fluent English and they called me and said, yeah, you got the job.
[00:28:06] And I was Starting 10 days later, I'd never, and oh, the other thing they were like, so you're familiar with Excel and, Word. And I know for everybody listening, it's probably obviously, but no, I'd never, I'd never been on a, I'd never done, I'd done a little bit of computer training in school, but I hadn't, I didn't have a computer.
[00:28:23] So I called my dad and I said, dad, can you buy me a laptop, a computer for Christmas, I need to learn how to use it. So this is just before Christmas. And I was starting then on the. Second of January. And so he got me a computer and I spent the next 10 days learning how to use Excel and Word and everything.
[00:28:40] And by the time I got there, I actually knew more than anybody. Amazing. But yeah, so it was, and then I just, I just went through the company. I I did manage Switzerland and I got to New York, then I went to London and so I ended in a global role managing the luxury division.
[00:28:59] Melissa: That's [00:29:00] an incredible story.
[00:29:01] And. It is really a testament to the fact that what is for you will always find you. And, I know there are going to be people who watch the kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah. Here come the cliches. Easier said than done. If you don't find joy in what you do, then leave. But I got bills to pay.
[00:29:18] If you're one of those people listening and watching right now, you are, you have just got living proof that when you really follow what's right for you, by you, things literally can fall into place immediately. It's just getting clear. And I want to ask Maria, in that moment when you gave the woman the feedback she didn't ask for and you were given the door, offered the door.
[00:29:42] Did you have any thoughts, any fears, any anxiety or doubt that came up in that moment?
[00:29:49] Maria Kelly: Oh, no. I was like, okay, that's it. Yeah. I was like, I'm not like life's too short to be, treated that way. And life's too short to be miserable at work. I had [00:30:00] no doubt that I could find another job within the week.
[00:30:02] At the time I wasn't looking for a career. I was just looking for something to pay my bills. And I was like shops in town, I can find another job. And I'm not going to, I was just At my wit's end with her and I thought I deserve better than this and life's too short. I'm just at the beginning of my career.
[00:30:18] I was in my twenties. I was like, I'm not going to continue. And there was no doubt for me that I wasn't, they actually, the place closed down six months later.
[00:30:26] Melissa: Wow. Timing. Everybody then lost
[00:30:28] Maria Kelly: their jobs.
[00:30:29] Melissa: Timing was perfect. And I actually want to mention this as well, cause it's, you've just sparked this thought that, we often mentioned that we, we have these people have these amazing stories.
[00:30:38] And you just mentioned. Early in my career, I was early in my career. The thing is, at any point in our careers, if we're really unhappy. Where people are afraid to leave because we are afraid of uncertainty, right? Because maybe we've got all these responsibilities, these commitments, have to pay my bills.
[00:30:55] But we forget at some point when we first started, we still had bills to pay and we would [00:31:00] literally take any job. That was how resilient we were. Ego and pride didn't get in the way. We were not like, I am too good for this job. It's Hey, it's a job. I'm grateful. I can go and get a job. Someone's going to pay me money for my time.
[00:31:16] Okay. And that can still serve you in the interim, but we get so attached to the, to, to the ego, right? That we're not willing to take, or maybe willing to look at something different that's still gonna pay the bills. I remember stacking shelves.
[00:31:33] Maria Kelly: Yeah.
[00:31:33] Melissa: And when I think back to those times.
[00:31:36] Even until today when business is not great it's a very stark and humbling reminder that any one of us here can get a job anytime we need. There's thousands, hundreds of thousands of jobs out there. It may not be our ideal job right now, but it's all in the small actions.
[00:31:59] Maria Kelly: Yeah. [00:32:00] Yeah. I worked for, I worked in an old people's home with the people who were dying actually for six months.
[00:32:06] I worked in a bar. I, yeah, I did. I worked in a museum. I did. I was like, I'll just do any job just to get the money and the experience to life. I was trying to figure out what I want to do in life. Yeah, still are .
[00:32:18] Melissa: Still are, yeah. Still . And isn't that, that can be a fun process if we are not completely caught up in this.
[00:32:27] The scarcity, the fear driving us, but what a story I just need really wanted you to sh to share that story. So really, I'm gonna ask this question, but you've answered it already in the stories that you shared, which is what stereotypes. Completely and continue to disrupt in your professional career.
[00:32:45] Maria Kelly: Such as what do you mean by stereotypes?
[00:32:47] Melissa: See, you don't even know what stereotypes are cause you just don't. I'm not sure
[00:32:50] Maria Kelly: what your, yeah.
[00:32:51] Melissa: A typical stereotype may be, yeah not wanting to make the pivot, like staying the career path exactly as it's laid out to be.
[00:32:59] Maria Kelly: Oh, [00:33:00] okay. I see what you mean.
[00:33:00] Yeah. Yeah. So stereotypes of what people are expecting, basically.
[00:33:04] Melissa: Yes. And what you're, what you're conditioned, what you've been conditioned to believe are stereotypes too. So as a woman.
[00:33:13] Maria Kelly: Yeah. As
[00:33:14] Melissa: I'm going to say, like a white privileged woman, let's just say, working in corporate. Have there been and doing and being radical really, have you been, are you perceived as radical?
[00:33:23] Are you perceived as a rebel? Are you perceived as a daredevil or do you just not give a shit? I'm just going to say what, not give a shit what people think. I
[00:33:30] Maria Kelly: feel like I don't really give a shit. I've never given a shit about it, but yeah. No, it's definitely I felt, I never felt like I Fit in the corporate world.
[00:33:40] I was working in the luxury corporate world also. Let's be on, that's a whole new level. And I've never bought a Prada handbag or a pair of Louboutin but there were when I moved to New York, it was quite shocking. You had you had these assistants or admin level people who were making 30, 000 a year, maybe.
[00:33:59] And living in New [00:34:00] York with 30, 000 a year. I'm not
[00:34:02] Melissa: going to get you far.
[00:34:03] Maria Kelly: Is brutal. But they would spend like a thousand, I don't know how much it costs, a thousand dollars on a pair of shoes to have Louboutin or to have a Prada handbag and then they wouldn't need for two months. I was like, I found that insane.
[00:34:17] I thought it was crazy. But yeah. It is a world of, looks and things. It's really important. And that's something I never I actually got some feedback about it early on where they were like, you need to dress up a bit more. And I was like, okay, I went and spent some money on clothes but I was just so not attached.
[00:34:34] I was like, how does that make me a better leader? How does it make me better at my job? But, it is a world where, you have to look the part, but that's something that's always bothered me somewhere. And I always felt Oh, it feels like it's not me. I'm not bringing my whole self.
[00:34:47] Yeah, it's something I really didn't care about that much. So yeah. And And as a woman, as a young woman at the time, you had to, I had to stand my ground and and I think that was something I was never [00:35:00] afraid. I was quite fearless actually.
[00:35:01] Melissa: Sounds like it. You went and gave that lady feedback.
[00:35:04] Maria Kelly: Yeah. No, I was quite fearless in in speaking up and saying, same what I taught and going against the grain or not agreeing with and same when I didn't agree with whatever policy or whatever was going on in the, and I think people respected that.
[00:35:18] Melissa: Yeah. I think, when you show people and the world who you really are, just like you did when you walked out the door or wait, the day before you walked out the door, then you walked out the door and then you went for a, an interview that happened by accident.
[00:35:32] Then you just showed who you are. It wasn't about you said my three CV, right? Like my three sentences. Yeah, there was
[00:35:39] Maria Kelly: like three lines on that CV. There was the job in the shop. There was the barman, there was the museum. Oh, and there was the hospital. That was all I had on that to show.
[00:35:47] And it had nothing to do with what I was applying for,
[00:35:49] Melissa: and I guess that really speaks to that going back to leadership, right? In whatever capacity, whether in corporate, whether as an entrepreneur whether you're leading your life, it's all about [00:36:00] you or your team or your family or your partnership or whatever is leadership in general.
[00:36:04] It's not about what you do. It's about who the person is. How do you, I'm going to ask like a business question now, so to speak, how do you bring people back home to who they are when they come to you for personal growth and leadership development skills as an entrepreneur?
[00:36:23] How do you help them get back to come back home?
[00:36:26] Maria Kelly: We start with that. The thing is the first thing we do some introspection. We I think you can't get clarity on what you want to do unless you understand, as you said, like why you're doing it, what's your purpose. And again, purpose can be difficult, but it's like going back to what you're trying to achieve and get clarity on why you started as an entrepreneur, because People get, can get lost and these are all things that need to happen, but going back to why you're doing it will help you, filter what you want to do in the future.
[00:36:56] And I think for me, it's really, we start by really getting clear on, [00:37:00] okay, what, why are you doing this? Why did you start your business? What are your objectives? Who do you want to help? What are the different things that you'd like to accomplish? And and we take that from there and then we map out how we get there.
[00:37:14] Melissa: Yeah. Okay. Sounds exciting. Cause you're going to, you're doing that for yourself now as well in your pivot. Nonetheless, you still have your community and people who are watching you can get, you'll be getting all the details of how to. Stay in contact with Maria through her content as well.
[00:37:30] You got connect with her on LinkedIn or at least follow her. Cause I'm sure she doesn't just connect with anybody. And if you're in Barcelona and you are a small business owner and entrepreneur, then I, and English speaking, I do invite you to consider joining Maria's community. It's growing super fast and you're definitely going to get a lot of support and you're going to have a lot of fun because you can see Maria is.
[00:37:52] A lot of fun, fearless, knows no limits and is up for trying everything because as you said Maria life is [00:38:00] short, life really is short and building on that resilience. Really allows us to open ourselves up to the opportunities that are out there. And not having to do it alone as well.
[00:38:11] Yeah.
[00:38:12] Maria Kelly: Yeah.
[00:38:12] Melissa: Before I let you go, cause our time flies by you, you've had struggles in your life as we all had, and you mentioned particularly the struggle with leadership in your job, which is what kind of led you to do what you do now. But leadership begins in our homes. So with our parents and with our teachers, and I know you have a very compelling story about a teacher at school that you use her essence in a way to, in, in your difficult moments.
[00:38:40] And I'd love for you to share that with our viewers and listeners, because I think it's a brilliant idea that maybe. Someone listening could employ and use the same sort of strategy for themselves if ever they were bullied or put down. So I turn the mic over to you.
[00:38:56] Maria Kelly: Yeah. Yeah. It came from when we were talking about if I'd had [00:39:00] any hardships to overcome, and I feel like I'm very fortunate because I don't feel like I've had many hardships in my life.
[00:39:07] So I'm very privileged on that point. But yes, I do feel like when I was in school, I was like, it must be around 10 years old. I had this, we had this teacher who was the headmistress. And she was a mean woman. And she would take pleasure in humiliating the kids who had the most difficulties in class.
[00:39:28] So if you were struggling, if you had health issues, which I had, so I missed a lot of classes and therefore I was then struggling to catch up, She would take pleasure in humiliating you in front of the class and calling us losers. She'd call us losers. She'd say, you're never going to accomplish anything in life.
[00:39:46] You're a loser. That can be, at 10 years old, it can be pretty brutal to hear that all day long, every day of the week. I hated going to school when she was there. I dreaded going and I, I just wanted to get home. And that, and I often faked being [00:40:00] sick, even though I was often ill, I even faked being ill because I didn't want to go.
[00:40:04] And I always remember that she, she scared everybody, the teachers the parents, everybody was, she was really a piece of work, but I remember my mom who hardly spoke French at the time. So we were in Geneva, my parents, I'm Irish and my parents said, come over to Switzerland for a job just before I was born.
[00:40:21] But my mom didn't speak French fluently. Like she, she, spoke a little bit of French, but she would go in. And she would give this teacher hell. She would stand up to her and say, you can't speak to my daughter like that, in her broken French. And I feel like that was always an inspiration for me to see my mom who hardly spoke the language and was the only parent that, would dare stand up to this horrible teacher that was mean and nasty.
[00:40:47] Yeah. She was a bully. Really. She was a bully. And I have probably since that, I really have an aversion for bullies. And when I see it, I really want to go in. But it's funny so now I've channeled that [00:41:00] because I think we all have this little voice at one point in our life that I know often that comes in and tells you can't do this.
[00:41:06] You're not going to manage. You're not good enough and stuff. And cool. I've decided to give that little voice a name, and I've called that little voice Mikaela, which was the name of that teacher. And so now, it's, so whenever Mikaela shows up and tries to tell me I can't do something, I'd be like, you know what, I can, and the reason I can, it's because I've done it before.
[00:41:27] This is the proof. These are the things I've done. These are all the other accomplishments I've made. And if she continues nagging me, I'll just say, shut up, Michaela. You don't know what you're talking about. And I just tell her to leave. And I found that giving that little voice a name made it easier for me to distance myself from it and shut it up, whenever it comes and tries to tell you that you're not good enough, you can't do it.
[00:41:50] But yeah, I'm a lucky one. I'm sure she's made a lot of harm that woman in, in that school. And I'm sure there's kids that came out of there feeling like they were useless and would never accomplish [00:42:00] anything. Hopefully not, some, most of them have gone on to do something, but
[00:42:04] Melissa: yeah.
[00:42:04] Maria Kelly: I'm sure that she has made some harm and I, it's like, how can you let somebody like that, be in front of kids? It's mind blocking. Yeah.
[00:42:14] Melissa: You turned a actually a traumatic experience because it's every day, right? It wasn't just one occurrence. No. It was
[00:42:20] Maria Kelly: every day. And
[00:42:22] Melissa: You've naturally employed a strategy that, that really speaks to what Kabamote says, trauma isn't who you are.
[00:42:29] It's what happened to you. So like you mentioned, you create that distance by making that voice, not your voice, but actually the voice of the person who first instilled this belief, this potential belief in you. It's a brilliant strategy. I'm going to remind myself of it, even for me. And I love, let's just give your mom a big shout out to, for being this powerfully brave just a powerful woman, who will not stand up to bullying and clearly She's had a beautiful her [00:43:00] DNA runs through your veins too,
[00:43:01] Maria Kelly: speaking out to that lady
[00:43:02] Melissa: at work.
[00:43:03] She
[00:43:03] Maria Kelly: was a strong mama, mama lion, like she, she don't touch my babies, she would go for it. She was very protective of it.
[00:43:10] Melissa: Love that. Thank you for coming and spending the time with us today, Maria. Excited, as I mentioned, to see the pivot. Thank you for being here with such an open heart and being so open and honest because this is the journey of entrepreneurship.
[00:43:23] It's not perfect. Sometimes it's messy. In fact, often it's messy. Yeah,
[00:43:29] Maria Kelly: more often than not. Yeah.
[00:43:31] Melissa: And actually messy happens when we're growing. Growing is not pretty.
[00:43:36] Maria Kelly: Yeah. I think messy is okay.
[00:43:37] Melissa: Yeah. Messy is cool. I can relax into mess and chaos sometimes.
[00:43:41] Maria Kelly: You can't be an entrepreneur and be perfectionist.
[00:43:43] That doesn't work.
[00:43:44] Melissa: Yeah, it doesn't work. Before I let you go, if you were a song, I always have this question. If you were a song, what song would you be? I know.
[00:43:53] Maria Kelly: Happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.
[00:43:55] Melissa: Now you bring joy into, you, I always feel the joy that you bring into [00:44:00] every space, Maria. Thank you for your light and your gifts.
[00:44:04] And if there's, is there one piece, one golden nugget you'd like to leave our listeners before we close today?
[00:44:11] Maria Kelly: Golden nuggets.
[00:44:13] Melissa: You've already
[00:44:13] Maria Kelly: given so many. I'm just being greedy. Hi yeah. Golden nugget. What is it? What did I say last time when we did the previous recording? Do you remember?
[00:44:20] Because I'm blanking out. Oh a golden nugget. I think
[00:44:24] I had something, and it just, Went through my brain and went back out. Okay. We have time and I can
[00:44:31] Melissa: edit the gap. You can edit. What's been,
[00:44:34] what's been key for you in your journey?
[00:44:38] Maria Kelly: Oh what's been key for me. Yes. I know what I want to say. You just need to do it basically. It's when you're starting, I spend a lot of time trying to get everything perfect before I started. And actually what you should do is just start. We just said earlier on, don't be a perfectionist, which I'm a recovering perfectionist and I'm still [00:45:00] battling it. It's, and that's comes from my corporate,
[00:45:03] grooming.
[00:45:04] It's like everything had to be perfect. And it's a good thing because you have a certain standard and all. But there's also a moment where it becomes procrastination, right? When you're starting your business, you need to put things out, even if they're not perfect, put them out, you can find and you learn and you treat them because you can spend hours creating something training whatever for a client and then realize That's not what the client wants.
[00:45:27] And you've spent a lot of time doing this or you don't want, and things changed. I created a website like three years ago and I could rewrite the whole website now, but I'm hesitating because I'm like what about if in the year I want to change it again? And
[00:45:40] I
[00:45:40] think it's just go in, just do it.
[00:45:42] You can tweak it along the way. Nobody's expecting perfect and nobody cares as much as you do about these little details that you can spend hours and hours, you can go down rabbit holes. So my advice, if you're starting your business let go of perfection. Good enough is sometimes [00:46:00] good enough and just do it.
[00:46:02] And and you'll get more done and you get momentum and then you can always, tweak things and change them and make them better. But you can get stuck in get stuck in trying to get everything, all your ducks in a row and everything perfect and yeah, it becomes a form of procrastination.
[00:46:15] Melissa: Perfect is now. So I love that. The key for me and a reminder for me is that just do it because you get the momentum, we're still moving and like you said, you can tweak along the way. Your biggest critique is yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.
[00:46:33] Maria Kelly: Thank you for having me.
[00:46:34] Melissa: Until next time, viewers, don't forget to stay fearlessly curious.